notcayenne

dontbearuiner:

The Levi people said they’d like to make me an outfit- a denim kilt, and a whole denim Nightcrawler blue thing for the [X-Men] premiere, and then they said “Wouldn’t it be great if you had a big black leather belt which had Nightcrawler studded on it?”
So we go to this leather shop in San Francisco and we’re buying the belts and there’s all these metal cock rings on the wall, millions of them. And I was like “How do you know how big a cockring is? Because you can’t tie it or anything, it’s just a metal thing.” And the guy at the shop heard me and went “Would you like to try one on, sir?” and I was like “oh….ok!” so he gets one down off the wall and goes “You look like a medium” and I’m like “Oh, fuck you.”
…so then the premiere comes, and then you know when you go to those things there’s endless television crews you’ve got to do little sound bytes for…and I’m wearing a kilt, so they say “So Alan, are you being a true Scotsman? What are you wearing under your kilt?” and after a while I couldn’t resist it any longer- “I’m wearing just a cockring.” and they’re like “No, really….” and I’m like “Yes, really.”
And then I got so brazen about it that by the end of the party, people didn’t believe me and I was like “Feel it!” So I would get people’s fingers, like the head of the studio and everything, and I would put their fingers so they could feel like, the metal at the top bit. Not near anything dangerous, just above the thing. And then eventually word got around and there was like, a line of people waiting to feel the metal of my cockring. So yeah, that’s my cockring story! [x]

*incoherence*

pocketpup
stonelions:

give yourself over to the wolf. let it eat the parts of you that are sick, that are damaged beyond salvage. let the wolf in and let it clean house, and let it leave again. the wolf knows which parts must be swallowed. you do not need what it takes, and where it bites you the wounds will heal. let the wolf in and let it eat you, and let it leave again.  

stonelions:

give yourself over to the wolf. let it eat the parts of you that are sick, that are damaged beyond salvage. let the wolf in and let it clean house, and let it leave again. the wolf knows which parts must be swallowed. you do not need what it takes, and where it bites you the wounds will heal. let the wolf in and let it eat you, and let it leave again.